Bride of Discord: Chapter 4-The Proposition

Discord continued to spread his chaos across Equestria. He turned the railroads into red licorice, the buffalos into gymnasts, the trees into candy canes and the birds into oranges. The last one was thanks to Twilight Sparkle. He then switched from night to day every few minutes so he could see his work. He saved Ponyville for last.

"Hmm, let's see," he murmured to himself as he hovered over the unsuspecting town. "What to do? What to do?"

He paused when he heard laughter. He glanced down and saw two ponies having a picnic under a gazebo. He recognized them as Applejack's older brother and the local school teacher. The stallion was wearing a bowtie and dinner jacket, while the mare was wearing a pretty pink dress. Discord perched himself on a cloud and watched.

"It was nice of you to plan a picnic, Big Mac," said Cheerilee.

"Yup," her date nodded.

The draconequus had to duck as she looked up at the sky. "Beautiful night, isn't it?"

Big Macintosh looked in her direction. "Yup."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Come on, boy! You can say more words than that!"

Suddenly, a smaller version of himself with devil horns and a pitchfork appeared on his shoulder.

"What are you waiting for? They're having a lovely date. Ruin it!"

He nodded and snapped his fingers. Below, Big Macintosh let out a loud burp. He blushed in embarrassment.

"Pardon."

She's going to dump him now, the draconequus thought, chuckling to himself.

But instead, she giggled. "Someone's had too much champagne."

Discord was confused, but tried something else. As Cheerilee took a sip of her drink, he
snapped his fingers, causing her to spit the champagne into Big Mac's face. Maybe he will dump her now!

Cheerilee smiled awkwardly. "Sorry. Looks like I've had too much as well."

They stared at each other and both laughed. Discord was beginning to get annoyed. He summoned up a storm of cotton candy clouds and made them rain chocolate milk on the couple.

"Strange," Cheerilee said. "There wasn't a cloud in the sky a minute ago."

She yelped as a bolt of lightning almost struck her. Her clothes and mane were getting drenched in chocolate milk. Big Macintosh ripped his jacket off and threw it over her shoulders. The two ran toward the barn and huddled inside with the farm animals.

Cheerilee began taking off the jacket, but Big Mac stopped her with his hoof and shook his head.

"Thank you, Big Mac," she said with a smile. She then glanced at the storm outside. "Wow, what dumb luck, huh?"

"Yup."

They laughed and rubbed their noses together. Discord slammed his paw on his cloud.

"I don't get it!" he shouted. "I humiliated them, made it rain on their picnic and they're still happy?!"

"Sickening, isn't it?" his shoulder devil gagged.

He stared down at the couple as they settled in an embrace and looked into each other's eyes. He let out a longing sigh. "Yeah. Sickening."

"You don't sound so convinced."

"Why do you suppose no pony's looked at us that way?"

"We're too magnificent for such sap!"

"Hey, why am I even talking to you when there are ponies to hear me gloat?"

He kicked his small self away and steered the cloud towards Canterlot.

---

Twilight paced around the throne room. "How could I have let this happen?"

"You've been asking yourself that for the past hour!" Spike complained. "This isn't your fault, Twilight."

"Yes, it is! Princess Celestia trusted me with running the kingdom and look at what's happened because of that!"

"It's Discord's fault, darling," Rarity said. "Not yours."

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie agreed. "It's his fault there're yummy delicious chocolate cats and dogs raining all over the place without a single dollop of whipped cream to be seen anywhere in sight!"

"Pinkie, isn't that chocolate all over your face?"

She used her tongue to lick away the incriminating substance. "Nope."

Rarity rolled her eyes and turned to Fluttershy. "You were right all along, sweetie. I'm sorry we didn't listen to you."

"It's alright," Fluttershy assured them.

Rainbow and Applejack entered the throne room.

"Okay," the latter said. "All the orphans are safe underground. The palace servants are bringin' cakes to calm 'em down."

Shining Armor appeared behind them. "It's not looking good out there, girls. The streets have been turned to lard. We already have twelve ponies hospitalized, and that's just from slipping on the street! Don't get me started on how many are getting hit over the head by the chocolate cats and dogs!"

"We gotta stop that big bully!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"I know," Twilight said, "but we can't use the Elements of Harmony without my magic."

"What if Fluttershy gives Discord that Stare of hers?" Scootaloo suggested.

"I don't know if that'll work on him," Fluttershy said quietly. She was still shocked from the experience of being in his arms.

"It worked on a cockatrice, didn't it?" said Sweetie Belle.

"I say we give him a good punch in the face!" Rainbow shouted.

"And what good would that do?" Applejack inquired. "Even if you did manage to hurt him, he could just heal himself with his magic. Twilight, what do you think we should do?"

The princess buried her face in her hooves. "I don't know! I just don't know!"

Every pony gasped as a familiar laugh echoed throughout the room. "Giving up so soon, Twilight Sparkle? That's oddly out of character for you."

"Show yourself, coward!" Shining Armor demanded. "If you don't give me back my wife, I'll…!"

"You'll what, Princie? How come you didn't get a pair of wings like your sister?"

"Knock it off!" Rainbow shouted, putting up her hooves. "Come out and fight, you chicken!"

She jumped as Discord tapped her on the back.

"Chicken, huh?" He looked at his claw. "You might be partially right about that."

Rainbow grounded her teeth together and charged at him. Discord teleported himself to the other side of the room, allowing the pegasus to crash into a window. Fortunately, the stain glass was strong and did not shatter.

"Dear, dear, Rainbow Dash," Discord said, shaking his head. "Must it always be violence with you?"

Twilight stood defiantly and stomped her hoof. "Enough of your gloating, Discord!"

"Who's gloating? I'm mocking! But if gloating's what you want…" He snapped his fingers and turned the floor into wax, causing every pony to slip. "Look at how helpful I am! I've waxed the floor for you!"

"What is with you and trippin' ponies?" Applejack demanded.

"Cut it out, ya big bully!" Apple Bloom hollered.

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shouted in agreement.

The draconequus stooped to their level. "Bully? Oh, that's coming from the pony who bullied her own cousin!"

"Hey!" Applejack attempted to get up, but slipped again. "You leave my sister and her friends alone!"

"Friends? Hmm, interesting choice of words, considering it was their quarrel that got me out of that prison block in the first place!"

"W-what?" Sweetie Belle stuttered.

"Don't you remember your little class trip?"

"You mean…?" Scootaloo stammered. "You…you were the statue?"

He clapped his hands, which made a different sound every time. "Give the little pony a prize! And let me thank the three of you! I would have never taken over Equestria without your help!"

Fluttershy had had enough. She flew off the wax floor and into the creature's face.

"How dare you?! You think you can intimidate poor, defenseless fillies and get away with it?!"

Discord's eyes widened at her sudden boldness. "Excuse me?"

She poked his nose with her hoof. "You best watch your step, buster, or I'll give you…the Stare!"

"The what?"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo cheered. "You're in for it now, buddy!"

"Ooh, I'm so scared," he said sarcastically.

Suddenly, Fluttershy opened her eyes wide and it was like some beam shot out of them.
Discord seemed locked in that gaze for a moment and then burst out laughing. Fluttershy looked at her hooves in surprise.

"But…that should have…"

She squeaked as he grabbed her and rubbed her mane playfully. "Oh, you're hilarious, my dear! Some pony's certainly gotten braver in the past few years."

"I warned you, punk!" Rainbow cried, going in for the kill.

Discord teleported out of the way, dropping Fluttershy in the process.

"Stop it, Discord!" Twilight commanded. "Why are you here?"

He appeared behind her. "I'm here to negotiate."

She turned to him. "Negotiate?"

"Listen, we all know you want harmony in your kingdom and your princesses safe and yada, yada, yada; and I don't want to be turned back to stone. So…why don't we make a deal?"

"This isn't another one of your games, is it?" Rainbow demanded.

"Ooh, I love games!" Pinkie Pie chimed.

"Gosh, no!" He summoned up a white flag. "I just want to talk!"

"What about?" Twilight asked suspiciously.

"You want me to stop wreaking havoc on Equestria. I simply want something in return."

"How about your life?"

"That was going to be one of the things…"

"You give us back the princesses and turn everything back to normal or we'll…"

"Turn me back to stone?" He pointed to her head. "Can't do that without a horn!"

Angry, Shining Armor shot a beam at him. Discord dodged it by teleporting to the door in a huff.

"Typical of you ponies! Here I come bearing the white flag and all you can think about is violence! Elements of Harmony indeed!"

"Get out!" Rainbow shouted.

"You're not wanted here!" Twilight bellowed.

Fluttershy had been watching the entire scene with uncertainty. She did not trust Discord, but her friends were not giving him a chance to talk. With this in mind, she made a bold move and flew between Discord and her friends.

"Twilight!" she exclaimed. "I'm surprised at you! You of all ponies!"

"Fluttershy," Twilight said slowly.

"Aren't you the one who says we should put reason before judgment? Discord may be an evil monster who doesn't deserve our trust…"

"I'm right here, you know!" the draconequus waved.

"But we should at least give him a chance to explain himself!"

Everyone was surprised at her action. Discord was the most confused, but the fact that
she seemed to be defending him caused him to smile evilly.

"Well said, my dear."

She tensed as he teasingly stroked her mane. Frightened and frustrated, she swatted his paw away and flew to Twilight's side.

"You are right," her friend said, before turning to their enemy. "What are your demands, Discord?"

The draconequus grinned and floated leisurely onto his back. "The way I see it, you want three things from me: your horn, order in your land, and your princesses. Actually, that last one counts for three, four if you include the unborn infant, but never mind that. Anyway, I simply want three things in return."

"My, my, my," said Rarity. "Aren't we needy?"

Twilight sighed. "What is it you want?"

"For your horn," Discord began, "you will have to make a promise never to use your Elements of Harmony against me."

"What?!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Why would we make a deal like that?"

"You want Princess Prissy to get her horn back, don't you?"

"It's a trick, I tell you!"

"Tell you what. If any pony fails to keep their end of the bargain, anything goes.
Meaning if I go back on my promise, you may do with the Elements what you will."
The purple pony scowled, but remained calm. "And the other things?"

"If I were to release Equestria of my chaos, well, I would be quite bored. After all, it is in my nature to create disharmony. All I'm asking is a teensy bit of land where I am free to spread my glorious chaos undisturbed."
Twilight nodded. "That might be possible."

"What about Cadence?" Shining Armor demanded. "What will it take to get her back?"

"Give me a moment!" Discord said, tapping his chin.

"You mean you don't know?" Spike questioned.

"I'm thinking!"

And he was. He had considered the first two requests very carefully, but the third had him stumped. He had to make this last one good. He thought about what he would need in his new life. If he was to abandon his hostile takeover, what would he do then? Return to his empty cave and talk to copies of him? Even if he was allowed to continue his chaos, there was no point in it if he had no one to share it with, let alone show it to.

His mind then wandered to the couple he had encountered a few minutes earlier. The way they had held each other, talked to each other, looked at each other; he would never admit it aloud that he wanted that. Then it struck him.

"Well?" Twilight asked impatiently.

He grinned mischievously. "Okay, I know what I want now! Trust me. This is the best deal you're going to get! It's a three for one deal."

"Huh?" Pinkie Pie uttered.

"Applejack, you're a sales pony. You understand, don't you?"

"Uh," the southern pony muttered. "Three for one means three for the price of one, but I don't…"

"Precisely! I will give you three mares for the price of one mare! We'll call the unborn filly a bonus."

Silence fell on the ponies. Twilight was the first to break it.

"What do you mean by the price of one mare?"

Discord's grin widened. "What I'm asking for is a bride."

"A what?!"

He knocked her on the head. "Hello? Any pony in there? I said I want a bride in exchange for your princesses."

"A bride?!" Rarity exclaimed. "What would you do with a bride?"

"I'd marry her of course. You know, spend eternity together, maybe have a few brats, err, kids…"

"You'd make a terrible dad!" Sweetie Belle cried.

"Oh, shut up."
He snapped his fingers and zipped the young unicorn's mouth closed. Her older sister gasped and opened the zipper with a glare.

"Explain your reasons behind this, Discord," Twilight said calmly.

"What?" he shrugged innocently. "Being a creature of chaos tends to be a lonely occupation."

"Whose fault is that?" Rainbow Dash mumbled.

"It's only natural that I would feel the need for companionship. Besides, if I'm going to retire, I might as well settle down and raise a family and blah, blah, blah."

"And," Twilight gulped, "this…bride…has to be a…pony?"

"Yes, so don't try and trick me and give a snail or rabbit or something! Doesn't matter what pony it is. I have no preferences, except one. She has to come willingly. That means no forcing, no bribing, and no swindling! She must come out of her own free will."

Rarity scoffed. "Who would be willing to marry you?!"

"I don't know. Any of you mares interested?"

They all glared at him. Rainbow stuck her tongue out.

"No pony?" He looked over at the yellow pegasus. "What about you, Fluttershy?"

She let out a small whimper. Before she could say anything, Twilight moved between them.

"Get out," she said between her teeth.

Discord shrugged. "I'm a reasonable creature. Perhaps you need some time to think about it. There's a cave up in the mountains. When you want to talk, look for me there."

On that note, he vanished from the room.